What's In A Rank?
by Jennaya
Summary: Hochstetter has finally found a way to prove Hogan is Papa Bear.


What's In A Rank?

By

Jennaya

* * *

Disclaimer:

All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of CBS and Ryscher Entertainment. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.

* * *

"Major, what can I do for you?" Klink asked as Major Hochstetter barged into his office early on a Tuesday morning; his plans of doing very little today quickly falling by the wayside.

"I'm here to interrogate a prisoner. You will bring him here immediately," Hochstetter demanded tossing his gloves on Klink's desk.

"May I ask what you're accusing Colonel Hogan of this time?" Klink asked somewhat bravely.

"Today nothing. In fact, I don't even want to see Colonel Hogan; it would be best if you kept him away from the office. The prisoner I need is Sergeant Andrew Carter. Have him brought here at once," Hochstetter ordered.

"Why Sergeant Carter?" Klink asked confused. Carter would be the last prisoner he thought the Gestapo Major would be questioning.

"Unless you want to be interrogated yourself, do as you're told!"

* * *

In Barracks Two, the men gathered around the coffee pot. Everyone looked at Carter, who appeared scared with enlarged eyes. "Why me?"

"I'm not sure. You've not been out of camp recently," Hogan wrapped his arms around himself. He didn't like the situation.

"We could hide him down in the tunnel," Newkirk said more than a little worried.

"Oui. We can keep Schultz out until he was safely downstairs," LeBeau added.

"No, that would bring attention we don't want," Hogan said. He looked at Carter. "Do you have any idea of why Hochstetter might be interested in you?"

Carter swallowed hard, "I…I don't know. Haven't been in town for over a month and Newkirk was with me then."

"As long as you stay in the Klink's office, we'll be able to listen to everything. If he tries to take you out of camp, I'll run interference. Remember name, rank, and serial number are good answers for any questions he asks you," Hogan said as they heard a knock on his door.

"I'm sorry Colonel Hogan, Major Hochstetter insists upon speaking with Carter," Schultz said.

"Why?" Carter asked. He glanced back at Newkirk for morale support.

"I know nothing. I really don't this time," Schultz had a sad look on his face as he and Carter left the building.

"What do you think he wants, sir?" Kinch asked as he reconnected the coffee pot.

"Wish I knew," Hogan paced worriedly waiting for the interrogation to begin.

* * *

Schultz opened the Kommandant's door ushering Carter inside, "Sergeant Carter as requested, sir." Schultz gave him a good luck look before closing the door.

"Sergeant Carter, welcome. Come in and take a seat," the Major's voice almost cheery making Carter more nervous than he already was. The young Sergeant sat down in the chair in front of Klink's desk. "There's no need to be uneasy, we're all friends here. I have a few questions for you. More formality than anything else. This won't take long. Tell me the location of your airbase in England?"

"Carter, Andrew J., Sergeant, 547390," Carter watched Hochstetter, who had what he thought was a scary grin on his face.

"Did you hear what he said?" Hochstetter faced Klink.

"Yes, his name, rank, and serial number, which is information already in his file. Carter, I suggest you cooperate and give the Major the answers he needs," Klink pointed a finger at the young sergeant.

"Nein, nein, nein, that's exactly what I expected him to say," Hochstetter sat on the edge of Klink's desk. "What I hoped he would say."

"Major, I don't understand. Perhaps you should explain yourself," Klink ordered.

"The information you gave us is your name, rank, and serial number, correct?" Hochstetter asked glaring at Carter, who dutifully nodded his head yes. "There's something which you may not understand. Giving false information say as in the wrong rank can get you classified as a spy. The Geneva Convention doesn't protect spies. So tell me, what is your real name, rank, and serial number?"

Carter repeated the information fully understanding where Hochstetter's interrogation would lead and wondering why this was coming to light now. He remembered Hogan was listening and half wondered if an entire camp evacuation hadn't just been ordered.

"Don't you mean Lieutenant instead of Sergeant?"

"No sir, I'm not an officer," Carter looked at him as if he'd grown a second head.

"Major that's ridiculous, obviously this man doesn't have the makings of an officer," Klink said.

Hochstetter ignored him. "A Lieutenant Andrew Carter was captured and assigned to an Oflag from which he promptly escaped. He was recaptured and taken to a Luft Stalag not far from here, where he subsequently escaped a short time later. He hasn't been seen since."

"I'm glad he made it back to England," Carter beamed.

"He hasn't and we know for a fact," Hochstetter said.

"Perhaps the man died during the escape and his body is somewhere along the countryside," Klink said.

Hochstetter turned giving him a hard glare to stay out of this interrogation. Then he turned back to Carter. "I believe there is a much simpler explanation. You see, we have spies in America and one spoke with the Lieutenant's mother. She says the Army told her to address all her letters to her son as Sergeant not Lieutenant. Would you have an explanation?"

Carter knew the Major was lying about someone speaking to his mother. All his families' letters were put in new envelopes at Allied Command in London and any references to his rank removed. They had no idea he was posing as a Sergeant. "Gee, seems like you need better spies. The US Army doesn't demote officers, only enlisted men."

"But if he pretended to be a Sergeant that would make him a spy!"

"What does this have to do with me, sir?"

"Well Lieutenant, I thought I'd give you a chance to come clean and clear the air so to speak with no consequences of course," Hochstetter had that grin again which scared Carter.

"The Gestapo aren't known for being nice, but gees, you don't have to be so insulting," Carter threw back with hurt eyes. Hochstetter looked at him in utter confusion. "I'm not an officer, I'm an NCO. I work for a living!"

"Are you saying officers don't work for a living?" Now Klink was insulted.

Hochstetter dismissed him with a wave of his hand. "I apologize, sir."

"I'm not a 'sir', I'm a sergeant," Carter said, grateful for the 'official' demotion ceremony Colonel Hogan held.

* * *

Lieutenant Carter shook hands with Oscar Schnitzer leaving the dog truck continuing on his journey to the waiting British submarine. Once he made it to the river, he stopped taking his time to study the best place to cross. He'd been told the only bridges were several miles downstream, which he could use but would cut into his time to make it to the sub. Plus he'd have to get past the patrol which he hoped to avoid. This was definitely not a river which could be waded instead most of it must be swam, but he was on the swim team in high school so he wasn't worried. The current flowed swift through the middle, but as long as he didn't struggle against it, cutting across shouldn't be much of a worry.

He found a spot on the far side of the river which would be easiest to exit the river, so he moved two hundred feet up stream, secured his paperwork on him, then dove into the river. The current was swifter than he'd swam before, but he didn't resist allowing it to push him downstream while cutting across. Caught in a current which drug him underneath the water he hit a tree trunk becoming tangled in the roots. Unsure which way led out of the turbulent water, he released some air watching the bubbles rise then using the tree as a spring board pushed himself off in the direction the bubbles floated. He made it to the surface gasping for breath with his lungs protesting being without any for so long. With effort, he pushed himself to swim to the river's edge then collapsed on the bank, his feet still in the water. Sometime later, he awoke turning over in the dark seeing the stars above, but his watch no longer worked so he was unsure how long he'd been unconscious. He stood looking around to find he was on the same side of the river from which he started, and now shivering and coughing he found shelter. A fire was out of the question as all his matches were wet; he pulled out a can of beans eating them cold. He lay back watching the night sky musing about how strange the stars looked on this side of the world. Carter understood the earth turned in somewhat of a circle each day, so shouldn't he had seen these stars back home at some point? The thoughts made his head spin as the stars started fading. The next thing he saw the sun shining brightly around mid-morning.

His only option at this point was returning to Stalag 13 hoping to not be in too much trouble. The trek took most of the day, before he made it to the same rendezvous site he'd originally met up with Olsen. Luck was with him as he nearly tripped over Olsen this time around. The Sergeant took one look at Carter pulling him into the emergency tunnel. He awoke three days later, fearing Colonel Hogan would be angry with him only to find out the Colonel was just glad he would survive. In the six weeks he spent recovering Carter found a place in the operation with Hogan agreeing to let him stay.

"Ten-hut!" Hogan ordered with the men snapping to attention standing in front of the Lieutenant. "Lieutenant Carter, you are hereby demoted from the rank of Lieutenant to Technical Sergeant," Hogan removed the Lieutenant Bars from Carter replacing them with Tech Sergeant Stripes. "For the duration of the war or the end of this operation whichever comes first, you will be an NCO with all the responsibility and privilege of the position. As Tech Sergeant, you will be the second highest-ranking man in the barracks, and the highest rank the Germans would believe without putting you in any more danger of extensive Gestapo interrogations. Once the war is over, your full rank will be restored with all privileges," Hogan saluted Carter.

"Thank you sir," Carter replied a little melancholy. He'd worked hard to get his bars even though he understood this was a formality for the Germans, he truly wasn't losing his rank.

"You're first mission as an enlisted man is to go outside and get yourself captured by Schultz," Hogan ordered.

* * *

A year and half had passed since his demotion with no trouble until now.

"Major Hochstetter, what makes you think Sergeant Carter is this missing Lieutenant?" Klink asked.

"Yeah, mistaken identity is one thing, but this is ridiculous," Carter said.

"They are the same description and build, the same name and the serial number is so close it would be easy to mangle a couple of numbers. Tell us, why did you come up with this scheme?" Hochstetter asked.

"I don't know anything about this Lieutenant Carter. Carter is a pretty common name in the States and so is Andrew," Carter held his ground without going into his German General persona.

"What about the serial number?"

"Gees, sir, you haven't told me what his number is. How could I know anything about it?"

"Carter, Andrew, Lieutenant 947930 is what the records show," Hochstetter sneered.

"That's not even close to mine. Mine is 547390, which is like 400,000 numbers off. What do you consider close? They couldn't be farther apart," Carter looked at the Major as if he was nuts. When first captured, he'd been so nervous that he messed up his serial number and the Germans wrote down the wrong one.

"He's right," Klink said.

Hochstetter turned towards the Kommandant growling, "Klink, stay out of this." Turning back to Carter, "Replacing one or two numbers makes it easier to remember. When making up a story it's always best to stay as close to the truth as possible, wouldn't you agree Lieutenant?"

"How many times must I tell you I'm a Sergeant? Didn't you say this officer successfully escaped twice? I've never been that lucky. Tried a couple of times, but didn't get far. In fact the last time, I never made it outside the wire before being caught," Carter said.

"That's right. There's never been a successfully escape from Stalag 13," Klink puffed up like a peacock.

"Klink," Hochstetter gritted his teeth.

"Major, if the Sergeant was this Lieutenant you were looking for, this is proof they're not the same man; this man is incapable of escaping. But when you find the Lieutenant, I'll be happy to take charge of the prisoner and make sure he stays put," Klink said.

"Lieutenant Carter is sitting right in front of you!"

"I've heard of field promotions, but I didn't realize the enemy could promote you. If you want to make me a Lieutenant, does that mean I get a private room too?" Carter asked.

"No, you don't," Klink said.

"Will I get an officer's pay?"

"Absolutely not!"

"Can I eat in the officer's mess hall now?"

"No."

"Does this mean I don't have to do work on the road crews and I can just supervise?"

Hochstetter's head turned quickly going from Carter to Klink disbelieving the exchange.

"No it does not. Now Major, you can't promote an Allied enlisted man. It's against the rules and I don't think they'd like that in Berlin," Klink started in on Hochstetter too.

"Wow, wait until I write home, and tell my mother. Will she be excited! I barely made it through basic training; in fact, I had to repeat the course to pass. Golly Major, maybe this meeting wasn't so bad after all; you did say we're all friends," Carter had a happy grin on his face talking faster and faster.

"Bahhh, shut up both of you. You can keep the prisoner, Klink. You deserve each other!" Hochstetter stormed out of the Kommandantur. He'd hoped to prove Carter was the missing Lieutenant and then use him to expose Hogan's operation. There was no way that Hogan would have that idiot on an espionage team. Once again, Hogan slipped through his fingers he growled leaving camp.

"When can I get my Lieutenant bars?" Carter excitedly asked.

"You're not a Lieutenant you're still a Sergeant," Klink said in a huff.

"Gee, I'm the first man in the history of the army to be promoted and demoted within an hour," Carter said with his lower lip protruding as he left the office. He walked through the compound with his hands in his pocket, head down, chuckling to himself. Colonel Hogan wasn't the only one who could drive Hochstetter insane. He remembered a couple of months ago when Newkirk brought a female Gestapo mole into camp exposing the tunnel system. They had to collapse the tunnel under Barracks Two, and he pretended to be a German General scaring Hochstetter. His performance was so believable that Carter had Hochstetter literally shaking in his boots*. This morning had to be more fun than that time; he only hoped there wouldn't be a repeat performance any time soon. The door to the barracks opened as he arrived.

"You did great," Newkirk said slapping him on the shoulder.

"Oui, really good. Wish we could have seen Hochstetter's face. Did he turn all red?" LeBeau asked.

"Yeah he did. It was kinda funny looking. Thought for a moment he was going to have a stroke," Carter answered coming to a stop in the middle of the room.

"Do you think he believed you?" Hogan asked watching the younger man closely.

"Yes sir, he seemed to without any problems. Wish I knew why he brought this up now," Carter said.

"We may never know. Could be he reviewed files of missing prisoners and made the connection," Kinch said.

"Possibly, he was fishing for information and didn't have anything solid. Even that bit about a spy speaking with my mom was fabricated. Didn't believe it for a second. The good thing is he's gone empty handed."

Hogan gave him a nod, "You did good, Lieutenant."

Carter stood a little taller, with a huge grin on his face, "Thank you, sir."

Finish

* * *

* Episode Sticky Wicket Newkirk


End file.
